She's off again! Follow here daily progress here
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Surfski Race Sunday 23rd
Local sea kayakers are encouraged to join in the annual NSRI Fundraiser surfski race at Seaforth beach. We normally compete in the 7km short course and the race is on the 23rd November at 9am.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Old but still amusing if you hate Microsoft
The Top Ten Ways The Sport Would Be Different If Microsoft Built Kayaks:
10. A particular model year of kayak wouldn’t be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
9. Every time you wanted to try a new paddle, you would have to buy a new kayak.
8. Occasionally your kayak would stop dead in the water for no apparent cause. No amount of paddling would budge it. You would have to tow it back to the launch site and restart your kayak. For some strange reason, you would simply just accept this.
7. Two people could not both paddle your kayak unless you paid extra for a ‘95 kayak or NT kayak in which case you would also have to buy an extra seat and expensive new charts.
6. A sophisticated marketing blitz would make you feel like a second-rate tasteless slacker for failing to upgrade your kayak. OOPS — wait a minute — that’s ALREADY happening.
5. Apple would make a kayak with 70% less hull drag, half the weight, watertight in all conditions and twice as stable. Unfortunately, it could be used on only 5% of the existing rivers.
4. Your Microsoft kayak’s compass, weather radio, and sump pump would be replaced with a single “General Kayak Fault” warning light.
3. The enthusiast press would get people excited about the “new” features of Microsoft kayaks, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
2. Microsoft’s inconsiderable owners manual would spawn a whole cottage industry of outsiders who would write hundreds of books explaining how to paddle your Microsoft kayak. Amazingly, we would buy all they printed.
1. If you wanted to go kayaking in a group with your club members or friends (known as Network Kayaking), EVERYONE in the group will have BUY special group kayaking accessories; however, only one member of the group (known as the kaysysop) would have the foggiest notion of exactly what they did and no one else would be permitted to operate them.
10. A particular model year of kayak wouldn’t be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
9. Every time you wanted to try a new paddle, you would have to buy a new kayak.
8. Occasionally your kayak would stop dead in the water for no apparent cause. No amount of paddling would budge it. You would have to tow it back to the launch site and restart your kayak. For some strange reason, you would simply just accept this.
7. Two people could not both paddle your kayak unless you paid extra for a ‘95 kayak or NT kayak in which case you would also have to buy an extra seat and expensive new charts.
6. A sophisticated marketing blitz would make you feel like a second-rate tasteless slacker for failing to upgrade your kayak. OOPS — wait a minute — that’s ALREADY happening.
5. Apple would make a kayak with 70% less hull drag, half the weight, watertight in all conditions and twice as stable. Unfortunately, it could be used on only 5% of the existing rivers.
4. Your Microsoft kayak’s compass, weather radio, and sump pump would be replaced with a single “General Kayak Fault” warning light.
3. The enthusiast press would get people excited about the “new” features of Microsoft kayaks, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.
2. Microsoft’s inconsiderable owners manual would spawn a whole cottage industry of outsiders who would write hundreds of books explaining how to paddle your Microsoft kayak. Amazingly, we would buy all they printed.
1. If you wanted to go kayaking in a group with your club members or friends (known as Network Kayaking), EVERYONE in the group will have BUY special group kayaking accessories; however, only one member of the group (known as the kaysysop) would have the foggiest notion of exactly what they did and no one else would be permitted to operate them.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Writs will be flying - or paddling
I stren-you-arsely deny these scurrilous accusations and can assure the writer of the previous article that I will be consulting with my lawyer, that notorious shark Paul Weber. You can be certain he will be suing the paddling pants off you, whoever you are.
Friday, October 31, 2008
KAYAK NON - RACE
It has been some time since I have placed a post on this Blog.
However I feel compelled to comment on the last Post by one Derek Goldman pertaining to the so called "Kayak Race".
For the sake of brevity I shall keep this as brief as possible. However you will, once you have read this missive, appreciate how difficult it is to do so, given my present emotional state.
Mr Goldman and his Wife whose name I cannot even bring myself to mention, organised this and publicised this"race" - even exhorting us to attend so that we could set a new world record . So far so good. Things then rapidly took a turn for the worse.
This Mr Goldman and his unmentionable wife, on the Friday evening prior to the race, undertook to provide me and my paddling partner with a canoe to race in. he encouraged me to do so (his words) "becuase then you can show everyone else how to steer...(?)"
Needless to say, having been so encouraged by a prominent member of the canoe paddling community to participate and display my undeniable skills, I jumped at the opportunity. Mr Goldman then procured, from his group of drinking buddies (this is the kindest way in which I can describe them), a paddling partner for me. I was assured that she was a top swimmer or something and up to the task. She was not. The evening before the race she withdrew leaving me, so to speak, "up the creek without a paddle partner"") complaining that she was scared of hurting her shoulder (?).
Undeterred I arrived at the race the next day with my single canoe. I was determined to show Goldman, the other one and my erstwhile paddling partner (who was seen lolling around on the beach with a perfectly good shoulder), that I could indeed steer as well as he said.
Goldman, grinning from ear to ear and winking to the unmentionable (he does not grin much you may have noticed) then proceeds to tell me that the "Double" is available and that be brought it with "just in case". (At this point in the story I am starting to tremble). Brimming with innocent enthusiasm I managed to locate an equally naive young lady to accompany me on my journey around the lighthouse - she told me that she had heard that paddling with me is "quite and experience".
I know this is long winded so I will cut to the chase (or lack thereof). Halfway to the lighthouse in a large South - Easter swell my partner asks me rather nervously why all the other canoes are passing us? Why? - The canoe had begun to sink. 5 minutes later it was no longer going over the swell but instead, submarine like, had begun to dive through. My paddling partner (being in front) was gamely carrying on but could not see where she was going (being underwater) and I chivalrously decided that we should turn and head back. Have you ever tried to turn a double K (the make) which has its front hatch full to the brim with seawater away from the wind?
Not being able to either steer the F.. thing or surf with it, we heroically limped back while all the time being soaked by the side - swell and risking imminent capsize.
My point? This is how low Mr Goldman will stoop to make sure he wins. Sadly for him he was soundly thrashed by a whisp of a girl half his age. Serves you right Goldman...
However I feel compelled to comment on the last Post by one Derek Goldman pertaining to the so called "Kayak Race".
For the sake of brevity I shall keep this as brief as possible. However you will, once you have read this missive, appreciate how difficult it is to do so, given my present emotional state.
Mr Goldman and his Wife whose name I cannot even bring myself to mention, organised this and publicised this"race" - even exhorting us to attend so that we could set a new world record . So far so good. Things then rapidly took a turn for the worse.
This Mr Goldman and his unmentionable wife, on the Friday evening prior to the race, undertook to provide me and my paddling partner with a canoe to race in. he encouraged me to do so (his words) "becuase then you can show everyone else how to steer...(?)"
Needless to say, having been so encouraged by a prominent member of the canoe paddling community to participate and display my undeniable skills, I jumped at the opportunity. Mr Goldman then procured, from his group of drinking buddies (this is the kindest way in which I can describe them), a paddling partner for me. I was assured that she was a top swimmer or something and up to the task. She was not. The evening before the race she withdrew leaving me, so to speak, "up the creek without a paddle partner"") complaining that she was scared of hurting her shoulder (?).
Undeterred I arrived at the race the next day with my single canoe. I was determined to show Goldman, the other one and my erstwhile paddling partner (who was seen lolling around on the beach with a perfectly good shoulder), that I could indeed steer as well as he said.
Goldman, grinning from ear to ear and winking to the unmentionable (he does not grin much you may have noticed) then proceeds to tell me that the "Double" is available and that be brought it with "just in case". (At this point in the story I am starting to tremble). Brimming with innocent enthusiasm I managed to locate an equally naive young lady to accompany me on my journey around the lighthouse - she told me that she had heard that paddling with me is "quite and experience".
I know this is long winded so I will cut to the chase (or lack thereof). Halfway to the lighthouse in a large South - Easter swell my partner asks me rather nervously why all the other canoes are passing us? Why? - The canoe had begun to sink. 5 minutes later it was no longer going over the swell but instead, submarine like, had begun to dive through. My paddling partner (being in front) was gamely carrying on but could not see where she was going (being underwater) and I chivalrously decided that we should turn and head back. Have you ever tried to turn a double K (the make) which has its front hatch full to the brim with seawater away from the wind?
Not being able to either steer the F.. thing or surf with it, we heroically limped back while all the time being soaked by the side - swell and risking imminent capsize.
My point? This is how low Mr Goldman will stoop to make sure he wins. Sadly for him he was soundly thrashed by a whisp of a girl half his age. Serves you right Goldman...
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